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Shannon DalPozzal

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Of a Woman: The Journey to Becoming is available now!

Shannon DalPozzal
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You Can’t Ever Tell Someone Those 3 Words Too Many Times

I don’t always share everything going on in my life as it happens. Most of the time I like to focus on the positive and happy things. Life is already depressing and hard at moments, but as I always try to remember, there’s a balance. Where there is negative, there has to be just as much positive.

In early January I went to CES 2013 in Las Vegas. I was excited about the wonderful assignments that came my way. In addition to being there for my own site, TravelingMamas.com, I had been commissioned to write a feature for Business Traveler Magazine’s February issue. As if that wasn’t enough goodness, I also managed to cover the event for Action News 19 in Cleveland live from various locations while I was at the event.

It was an amazing event. I met so many new friends. I was also completely exhausted and about to fall over when I landed back home.

My mother had been texting me all week.

“I miss you.”

“I’m worried about you. You push yourself too much.”

And finally.

“I’m glad you’re back home.”

My parents are proud of me and my travel writing career. They also are unable to understand my need to explore. My need to see new places. We’ve had disagreements on some of my choices, but they always support me in my decisions. And they love me unconditionally. This I know.

As soon as I arrived back into town after CES, my mother had a stroke. It was one of the hardest thing I’ve had to deal with in my life. I was with her in the emergency room, holding her hands, helpless as I watched her suffer. My brother was also there with me, as was my dad. She had moments where she was unable to speak, but she would look into my eyes with pain, and I couldn’t do a thing to help her at that moment. All I could say was:

“I’m here Mom. I love you.”

During the time she was in the hospital, going through tests, recovering, I had some very kind emails and phone calls from friends who knew what was going on. Mom’s neighbors and friends were there offering support as well.

One afternoon I went to my parents’ home to collect some things for them and to take care of their Westie, Bonnie. I went into my mother’s room and saw her cup of tea still sitting next to her chair. It was so quiet in their home that is usually bustling with activity. I sat in my mother’s chair and I finally allowed myself to cry. I’m so lucky to still have her in my life.

Cup of Tea, Bonnie, Flowers

When I returned to the hospital, her room had been filled with flowers. She looked better. She was smiling. I climbed into the hospital bed with my mother and put my arms around her and I told her how much I love her. I’m still counting my blessings for being able to have another chance to say those words to her.

Life is fragile. It could be over for you, or I, or our loved ones in an instant. As I’ve mentioned before, tomorrow isn’t guaranteed. If there’s someone who means something to you, tell them today. Your mother, father, brother, sister, son, daughter, or the person you think of often but haven’t spoken with in a while. Don’t put it off. Don’t wait until tomorrow. Tomorrow might be too late.

Today, my mother is doing much better. She’s even back to baking massive numbers of cakes at one time. She’s frustrated with not being able to drive, but I try and make her laugh by calling my days of bringing her places “Driving Miss Daisy” after the movie. I tell her I love her every day. You can’t ever tell anyone those three words too many times.

If you happen to be a friend of mine reading this, know that you are dear to my heart, even if we don’t speak often. And remember those three words.

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I look at this young woman now and want to tell her so many things.

I’d tell her that life isn’t going to look anything like the picture she has in her head.

I’d tell her some of the people she thinks will always be there won’t be. Others she hasn’t even met yet will become part of the fabric of her life.

I’d tell her she will become a mother. A grandmother. A wife more than once. A writer. A traveler. A woman who will start over more times than she can imagine.

I’d tell her that the fire department she walked into that day thinking it was simply a job would become part of her identity and would teach her difficult life lessons. That she would spend years answering calls on people’s worst days, live through disasters she couldn’t yet comprehend, and discover that she was capable of far more than she knew.

And I’d probably tell her not to spend quite so much time worrying about whether she was doing life “right.”

Because there isn’t one right way.

This photograph has its own scars. It was pulled from the floodwaters after the 2016 flood in Baton Rouge. Somehow, it survived.

So did she.

Thirty-two years later, I don’t wish I could go back and change everything for her.

I think I’d just sit beside her for a minute and say:

Hold on, sweetheart.

You have absolutely no idea where this life is going to take you.

And what a life it is going to be.

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